Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Perfectly Spaced

I've been thinking lately about what is the perfect space to have between siblings...

In my family, I'm the oldest, and my littlest brother is 11.
He was born a week before I graduated high school.
There are 6 kids in my family, spaced out over 18 years.
It was perfect.
I loved always having a baby in the house.  
I was probably the only one in high school who always had a car seat in my car.
It has always been fun to have holidays at my mom's house because there are always kids around.
When I had my own kids, I felt very prepared.
I knew how to take care of a baby was beyond excited to finally have one of my own.
When I got married, I told my husband that 3-4 years was the perfect space.

Well, Saxon and Bridger are 23 months apart.
(I get asked ALL THE TIME if they are twins)
I loved having Saxon.
I loved being a mom.
From the minute he was born, I couldn't wait to have that experience again.
I've never felt closer to heaven than when I hold my newborn baby.

Bridger and Dalton are 25 months apart.
Clearly, my plan was not working for me.

However, as I watch them, I have to say, that they are perfectly spaced.
They are buddies.
They defend each other.
They look out for each other.
They pick on each other.
They always have a friend and someone to play with.
(Saxon forcing Bridger to look in the right direction for the picture)
I think having #3 has made the big boys even closer.
It gives them a distraction.
Bridger gets to learn to share with someone smaller, and Saxon is learning to be more helpful.  (This is a work in progress...I hear girls are naturally more helpful...we wouldn't know... :)
And Dalton, of course, basks in the attention of the 2 big boys.
Since my plan didn't go according to plan, I guess they may never remember what it's like to change a diaper or make a bottle, or have a carseat...
but they will know how to be a friend.
They know how to share (well...they will have a lot of practice anyway)
They know how to say "I'm sorry".
They know how to look out for each other.
This summer they are going to play soccer together.
I never regret having them so close because for us, it is perfectly spaced.
I don't disagree with people who want a lot of space either.
I grew up like that, and it was perfect.

So, for as often as I turn the subject over in my mind and try to decide what the "perfect space" would be...I have decided that the perfect space is generally, exactly how it is.

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