G.U.M.

Currently, the bane of my existence is spelled G.U.M.

Let me give you a little background...

I'm not a gum chewer.

I never have been.

I don't like feeling like I'm constantly talking with food in my mouth.

My husband...he's a gum chewer.

He doesn't just chew, he smacks.

I didn't say anything while we were dating, but once we were married, I addressed the issue. Now, neither of us are gum chewers. :)

(What a great husband, right?)

I never let Saxon chew gum as a little kid.

One day we were at my friend's house and she gave her kids gum.

I caved, because I didn't want him to feel left out.

But, I drilled it into his head

"We don't swallow gum, we don't swallow gum, we don't swallow gum..."

Like a good little guy, when he was done, he didn't swallow his gum.

He stuck it in his pocket.

Yep.

Ruined the pants.

I renewed my resolve to be a non-gum-chewing household.

Now there's Bridger.

He's a snacker.

If there's a snack to be found in the house, he will find it.

I can't buy snacks because he will constantly sneak them.

I started to worry, so I re-evaluated my gum theory.

Maybe, just maybe, he would snack less if he chewed gum.

So, I broke down, and bought some sugar-free gum and gave it a shot.

Well, it kind of worked.

He doesn't dig for snacks anymore, but he is always begging for gum.

I have gum stuck to my sheets.

There is gum stuck to their comforter on their bed.

And there are piles of gum in every trash can.

Not to mention that they can't seem to leave it in their mouths!

The other day, Dalton walked out of the bathroom smacking.

SMACKING, like he's chewing gum.

I tried to get into his mouth to pull out whatever it was, but he clamped down his little jaw.

Finally, Nate tipped him upside down to make him laugh and I snatched it out.

G.U.M.

He had gone into the bathroom and fished an already been chewed piece of gum out of the trash can and was smacking on it.

GROSS!

I went into the kitchen to dispose of the nasty gum and came back out and Dalton is smacking!  Again!

The kid only has a few teeth.

How can he possibly be chewing gum?

He had gone back into the bathroom and found another piece of gum.

Thoroughly exasperated, I gave Nate the look that said "fix this please."

He took out all of the trashes in the house.

 

 Today, before church, I wanted to take a picture of the kids because they all looked so cute and ready for Halloween (Saxon's tie has skulls on it).

This is what I ended up with...GUM.

Even Dalton had a piece and swallowed it before I could snatch it out of his mouth.

(sigh)

What can I do?

Do you let you kids chew gum?

Gross...I don't know what else to say...

Me and my sweet baby Dalton.

I had to at least put a good picture, because the rest of this story makes me want to gag...still...

The day that I made Whoopie Pies, I swept and mopped my floor.

I think it's always good to start off a project with a clean house.

That way when you are done, you only have a project mess to clean instead of a house mess.

I fed my kids lunch and they made a disaster.

I sliced up peaches and the kids got sticky peach juice everywhere.

So, I swept and mopped my floor...again.

Then I let them eat Whoopie Pie.

Naturally, they made a huge disaster.

I sighed and started picking up pieces of discarded whoopie pie.

I reached down to pick up one chunk of pumpkin colored mess.

The piece I picked up felt kind of squishy.

It didn't feel like cookie.

Can you see where this is going?

If you're a mom...you might be able to guess...

So, I decided to smell it.

(I'm gagging just remembering this...)

Whoopie Pie would smell like pumpkin spice.

It didn't smell like pumpkin spice...it smelled like poop.

Like poop and peaches.

I started to gag.

I tossed it in the trash and started to scrub my hands, my arms, etc.

Then I turned to my baby...who giggled with all of the sudden attention.

"You..." was all I could manage.

I picked him up and more pooped out peaches squished out of his diaper and onto the floor.

Now that I was paying attention, I could find a trail of poop everywhere that he had been in the last half hour.

So, I spent the rest of the afternoon scrubbing the baby, the floors, the carpet, myself, everyone's hands, the floors again, etc.

To top off a fabulous day...

my 3 year old pooped in the bath that night.

And I spent all night scrubbing...again.

The Best Buddy Jar

As a baby gift, right before I had Saxon, a good friend of mine gave me a book called,

"Secrets of The Baby Whisperer."

It's a good book with some great suggestions.

I'll confess though...I didn't read it right away.

As a brand new, first-time mom, I had all the answers already, right?

I already knew how I wanted to do things and was sure that, not withstanding a few bumps in the road, it would all go according to plan.

After a few months, I read the book.

It turns out, I didn't know as much as I thought I did, and a little advice is always useful.

One part of the book that stood out to me is how the author classifies babies:

1. The Angel Baby

2. The Textbook Baby

3. The Touchy Baby

4. The Spirited Baby

5. The Grumpy Baby

It turns out...I have a spirited baby.

Having a "Spirited Baby" has some fun and unique challenges.

How do you rein them in without crushing their spirit?

Here's what happened to us last week:

Saxon's preschool teacher (who we love...she's perfect for Saxon and she loves him) asked to talk to me for a minute because she had some concerns.  

Saxon has a strong personality.  He is a ringleader.  He usually ends up getting what he wants in class because he is assertive.  This isn't usually a problem, but Saxon has decided that one boy in class is his "best buddy."  One day Saxon came home crying because he didn't get to sit by his "best buddy."  He made such a big deal about it, that now, everyday in class, the kids are all fighting to sit by this one boy.  Everyone wants to be his best buddy.  His teacher said that snack-time is becoming hard because everyone fights to sit by this boy, and most end up crying after.  She thinks that Saxon's example has made it "cool" to want to sit by this boy and now everyone is doing exactly what Saxon is doing.

She said that she loves Saxon and his fun little personality, but asked me to talk to him about branching out.

So, I thought about it for a while, and this is what we came up with:

The Best Buddy Jar.

Each day before school, Saxon is going to draw a name from the jar.

That day, he is going to do his best to make that person feel special, be kind to them, and be there best buddy.

He is so excited about this project.

He couldn't sleep last night because he wanted to start right away.

I'm not sure this idea would work with a child who is really introverted because it would seem scary.  But for Saxon, my spirited child, I think it will be fun.

Hopefully this will help him branch out and practice using his talents and his personality to be kind and make other kids happy :)

That's the plan anyway...

I'll let you know how it goes :)

Fingerprint Sticker Chart - tutorial

We've recently tried out the idea of "sticker charts" at my house.

They work pretty well because the sticker itself is a little instant gratification for my kids when they meet a goal or do something that they are supposed to do.

But, they also get a prize when they fill up the whole chart...and that's the motivation to keep earning stickers.

I used to work at a treatment center for teenage girls.

One thing I learned there is to always remember the positives.

"An emotional bank account".

Sometimes I forget to praise my kids for doing something normal.

Something expected of them.

But, when they don't meet basic expectations, they are in trouble.

Some days, I feel like I'm yelling at them all day long, and then we are all miserable.

I took a parenting class that recommended that you say 10 positives for every 1 negative towards your children.

That's actually really hard to do.

The teacher said that sometimes you have to go back to the basics:

"Great job putting on your own shoes today!"

"Thanks for doing what I said the first time I asked you!"

"I"m so proud of you for sitting quietly while I was on the phone..."

etc.

If it's a day when your kids are tired and tantruming, you have to really put in an effort to find 10 positives before you can bring up the negative behavior.

The positives are often easy to miss because life just flows.

The negatives trip us up and catch our attention.

So, I decided to make fingerprint sticker charts with the boys to help remember the positives and give them a little reward (a fingerprint).  

First, I drew out a tree with grass and sky using watercolor colored pencils.

Then I gave them a paintbrush and some water and let them paint their own pictures.

The watercolor pencil turns to paint when it gets wet.

Then we picked some simple goals to meet everyday.

The boys helped me decide on what their goals would be.

We included "be kind" so that they can get an extra fingerprint every time I catch them doing something kind.

(The fingerprints will be the leaves on the tree)

We've only had our sticker chart for a couple of days, but so far, the boys will do almost anything to earn a "fingerprint."

So, give it a try...

Try to spend more time praising your kids and looking for the positives :)

I find that it makes for happier kids and a much happier mom!

"Mom"

 (Me with my Mom, Saxon, and Dalton - the day Dalton was born)

A friend of mine posted this quote on facebook:

(you may have seen it going around)

2yrs, "mommy , I love you". 12yrs, " mom, whatever" , 16yrs "mom is so annoying" , 18yrs " I want to leave this place " , 25yrs " mom, you were right" , 30yrs "I want to go to my moms house" , 50yrs "I don't want to lose my mom", 70yrs ,"I would give up everything for my mom to be here with me". A mother is irreplaceable , post this on your wall if you appreciate and love your Mom♥..

It makes me love each "Mommy, I love you" from my boys and remember each "Mom, whatever" that I handed out and dread the day that my kids say the same thing.

I have a friend whose mom died when she was a teenager.  She doesn't ever complain, but says that there are just some moments where you need your mom, and no one else will do.

It makes me appreciate my mom, and appreciate the chance to be a mom.

Do you LAUGH or do you CRY?

(Bridger)

Saturday was Saxon's 5th Birthday.

We decided to have some family over and make dinner, and then all go get ice cream at

Sub-Zero.

It's Saxon's favorite place because they have a loft upstairs with arcade games and air hockey.

Right when we got there, both boys rattled off their orders to me and then jetted upstairs to play.  There was a big line behind us so I started placing all of our orders.  

Then I see Bridger's little face peek around the corner at the top of the stairs and he yells,

"MOM!  I just pooped on the stairs..."

I'm in the middle of ordering (and I don't want the kid who works there to know what happened, or anyone in line for that matter...) so I nudged Nate.

He was totally oblivious.  

"What?"

"Bridger needs you."

"Why?"

"He just does, could you go check on him?"

"What happened?"

(Now I'm getting really frustrated...I wanted to push him in Bridger's direction and say "Go see for yourself!" but I didn't want to make a scene.)

"He needs to go to the bathroom."

Then Bridger yells again:

"MOM!  I POOPED!"

My brother Gregor was with us and bursts out laughing,

"Too late, I think he already did go to the bathroom..."

Nate finally catches on and heads toward the stairs.

Then he comes tearing down the stairs with Bridger in his arms.

He runs into the bathroom, puts Bridger on the potty, then goes running back up the stairs with a HUGE wad of paper towels.

Then Saxon comes running down the stairs:

"MOM!  I have to poop!"

Of course he does...

So I grabbed him and ran into the women's bathroom.

We made it just in time, but I missed whatever else was happening with Nate and Bridger.

Finally, we all made it out of the bathrooms back upstairs.

When we all sat down, I asked Nate,

"Do we need to go get Bridger new shorts."

"No, he's fine."

"Did you just take off the poopy underwear?"

"No, it didn't get in his underwear."

 I can always tell when Nate's hiding something...

"What happened then?"

"Well...when I got him dressed to come here, I let him go commando..."

Our whole group burst out laughing.

That's how he pooped on the stairs.

There were no underwear to catch it.

That's what happens when it's Daddy's turn to get them dressed...

It was one of those moment's when I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

I was embarrassed, grossed out, and yet, somehow, we were all cracking up.

Because at this point, what else can you do?

Turn away for a second...

It's amazing to me the things that kids can do when you turn away for just a second.

Sometimes it's funny...

Sometimes it's naughty...

Sometimes it's dangerous...

My sister Brooke is in town this week.  Last night we put Bridger in my bath and we were standing in the doorway of the closet (which is in the bathroom) talking.  We were only about 3 feet away from the bath.  Baby Dalton was crawling around on the floor and we were discussing some clothes options, when we hear Bridger make a sound of distress.

Not really a scream, but a little panic in his voice.

We turn around and Baby Dalton is in the bathtub, looking up at me with a "deer in the headlights" expression.

"Baby Dalton climbed in the bath!" -Bridger

Dalton likes to lean over the edge of the bath and watch the boys.

He is always trying to climb in, but isn't big enough.

Or so I thought...

Because he just slipped right over, there wasn't even a splash to alert us.

I was in the room with him, only feet away from the edge of the tub, and this happened.

I feel like I can never take my eyes off this kid.

He learns so fast and is so busy.

After my moment of panic

"what if he had drowned"

"what if he had hit his head"

"what if the tub was too deep"

My mind instantly starts running through every awful possibility...

After I calmed down and we made sure that everyone was alright, I grabbed the camera :)

Once Dalton regained his bearings, he was actually pretty proud of himself.

Is it even possible to "never take your eyes off of them"?

I feel like I need to have him in my arms at all times.

I'm going to have to find a good balance.

Confessions

Do you ever have moments when you mind tells you that you know better?

When you know you're taking the easy way out?

When you just hope no one is looking?

I seem to be having lots these moments lately...

Confessions of a busy mom:

1.  Sometimes I let my kids drink my diet coke.

2.  Sometimes I let my boys pee on a tree so we don't have to go hunt down a bathroom.

3.  Sometimes I give in to a treat just so they stop begging!

4.  Sometimes I let them wear their costumes out and about just so they stay entertained while I run errands.

5.  Sometimes (lots of times) I let them watch a movie in bed to fall asleep.

6.  Sometimes (way too often) I let them sleep in my bed.

7.  Sometimes we go to the gas station to get sodas just because we're bored.

8.  Sometimes I lie because I'm tired of saying "no, because I said so."  You know, things like "the store is out of treats today" or "the library doesn't let us borrow movies, only books," etc.

9.  Sometimes I let them have a slim fast for breakfast (they call it "chocolate milkshake") because we are running so late...  We also eat quesadillas A LOT for dinner...quick and easy.

10.  Sometimes I let them get away with something because I am too tired to fight another battle.  Even when my mind is screaming "you should say something, they can't get away with this.." I am esp. guilty of this in public.  I may threaten "we are going to leave if you do that one more time!"  But if we really leave the grocery store before I am done shopping, I am the one who has to go back and do it all over again.

(Sigh...)  I guess I have a few things to work on :)

Perfectly Spaced

I've been thinking lately about what is the perfect space to have between siblings...

In my family, I'm the oldest, and my littlest brother is 11.

He was born a week before I graduated high school.

There are 6 kids in my family, spaced out over 18 years.

It was perfect.

I loved always having a baby in the house.  

I was probably the only one in high school who always had a car seat in my car.

It has always been fun to have holidays at my mom's house because there are always kids around.

When I had my own kids, I felt very prepared.

I knew how to take care of a baby was beyond excited to finally have one of my own.

When I got married, I told my husband that 3-4 years was the perfect space.

Well, Saxon and Bridger are 23 months apart.

(I get asked ALL THE TIME if they are twins)

I loved having Saxon.

I loved being a mom.

From the minute he was born, I couldn't wait to have that experience again.

I've never felt closer to heaven than when I hold my newborn baby.

Bridger and Dalton are 25 months apart.

Clearly, my plan was not working for me.

However, as I watch them, I have to say, that they are perfectly spaced.

They are buddies.

They defend each other.

They look out for each other.

They pick on each other.

They always have a friend and someone to play with.

(Saxon forcing Bridger to look in the right direction for the picture)

I think having #3 has made the big boys even closer.

It gives them a distraction.

Bridger gets to learn to share with someone smaller, and Saxon is learning to be more helpful.  (This is a work in progress...I hear girls are naturally more helpful...we wouldn't know... :)

And Dalton, of course, basks in the attention of the 2 big boys.

Since my plan didn't go according to plan, I guess they may never remember what it's like to change a diaper or make a bottle, or have a carseat...

but they will know how to be a friend.

They know how to share (well...they will have a lot of practice anyway)

They know how to say "I'm sorry".

They know how to look out for each other.

This summer they are going to play soccer together.

I never regret having them so close because for us, it is perfectly spaced.

I don't disagree with people who want a lot of space either.

I grew up like that, and it was perfect.

So, for as often as I turn the subject over in my mind and try to decide what the "perfect space" would be...I have decided that the perfect space is generally, exactly how it is.

Boys

These are the kind of things that happen when your 12 year old little brother is in charge:

Ha ha, I thought it was hilarious!

Maybe I'll try it the next time I need to multitask :)

My 12 year old little brother was just in town visiting and my kids were in heaven.

They love their Uncle Kasen and love having a "big brother" around.

He had to go home to California today and we've had quite a few meltdowns about it.

Wish us luck...Saxon has already informed me that 

"this is going to be the baddest day ever!"

Here's a quick story from having Uncle Kasen in town:

We decided to all go to the water park while Kasen (and his friend) were in town visiting.  I asked the big boys to watch the little boys while I went to rent some tubes.  They agreed.  When I got back, Kasen tells me,

"Umm, Dalton pooped.  He's holding poop in his hand, but we didn't take it away because we didn't want to touch it.  Here...you can take him."

Sure enough, Dalton had an explosion just as we get to the water park.  And can you guess the best part...I forgot wipes.  It was a disaster.

Future Major League

Saxon started t-ball last night!

I was a little worried because we had missed all of the practices while we were in California.  I didn't want him to feel lost.

It turns out, I had nothing to worry about.

He did great!

In fact, t-ball went much better than soccer.

I thought every kid loved soccer, but Saxon didn't love it.

He felt like it was a lot of running and not a lot of time with the ball.

With t-ball, every kid gets a turn at bat, and that was exactly what Saxon wanted.

It was so fun to see him have fun (and I got his cute little baseball cleats at Ross for $7...great deal!)

 Bridger was dying to play, but he's only 2, so he has a while before he can play.

So, I signed him and Saxon up for the 4/5 year old soccer team this fall.

I know...I know...

But he's big, and he's coordinated, and they don't keep score, so he can't do any damage, right?

It's just so hard to keep telling him that he's not old enough.

I just hope Saxon doesn't tell on us :)

3 of a kind

I have 3 kids.

All 3 boys.

All 3 were 7 lbs. 3 oz. when they were born.

All 3 left the hospital at 6 lbs. 11 oz.

All 3 had tons of dark hair that fell out and grew back blonde.

I'm starting to think that I only make 1 kind of baby.

This kind...

(Bridger - 2)

I seem to attract a lot of attention when I go out with these three.

I get everything from:

"Three boys! (snicker) Bet you wish you had a girl.  You aren't going to keep trying are you?"

To:

"Wow!  Three boys!  You sure have your hands full!"

Yesterday I took the three of them to the dollar store.

This sweet older couple in line in front of us kept looking back and giggling.

"Three boys?"

"Yep."

More giggling.

"Three boys!"

They laughed all the way out to their car, and then were laughing so hard as we walked by that they could hardly drive off.

We are clearly quite a sight when we go out.

My mom had my boys at Target the other day and kept getting what she now calls "Caitlin complements".  The kind where people stop and stare, laugh, and admire my three little guys.

(Saxon - 4)

I love my boys!

Really, truly love them!

Do I wish for a girl?

Yes.

I hope I get a one, one day.

It would be fun to have dresses and bows.

Do I wish one of my boys had been a girl?

Absolutely not!

My boys are hilarious!!!

Saxon is spicy.  He has attitude and flair.  He rocks out to Taylor Swift and will comfort anyone who seems upset.

Bridger is sweet and funny.  He has a lisp and can't say his "r's".  We always try to get him to say new words just to hear how he'll say them.  He always wants to come with me where ever I go.

Dalton is my baby.  He has blue eyes that can swallow you up and loves to do the flirty/shy thing to get attention.

(Dalton - 8 months)

My sister in law also has 3 boys.

We love to share experiences that happen.

People ask me all the time if I am going to keep trying until I have a girl.

Oh, heavens no!  Can you imagine!  I might end up with dozens of boys!

I will probably have more kids, but not to "try" for a girl.

Is it even possible to "try" for one or the other?

I don't know...ha ha.

But, as long as I am only 2 boys short of a full basketball team, I am going to enjoy it!

I paint and blog to have some girliness in my life, and then we do t-ball and swimming lessons and wrestle on the living room floor.

I am forever cleaning pee off the bathroom floor and having to say things like

"No, we cannot keep the grasshopper as a pet!"

I have 3 of every superhero that exists and tons of cars.

This isn't exactly the way I thought things would turn out, but I sure am grateful that I didn't get to pick because know I have 3 incredible little guys that run my life!

Doesn't it seem like when things turn out totally different than you expected, that most often, it's better?

What can I say?

Today is a big day.  
Saxon is graduating from preschool.
Since he is graduating, I thought I'd re-tell a story that happened about a month ago in preschool...

Some happenings from my life as Supermom:

Saxon has a favorite pair of underwear...the Batman boxer briefs from Aunt BB.  He wants to wear them everyday.  Sometime I will put different undies on him after his bath, and when he wakes up, he is wearing Batman boxer briefs.  He digs through the laundry basket and finds them no matter how deep I bury them.  This morning, he was wearing Batman boxer briefs, but I didn't have time to battle him, because we were running late for preschool.  I put his jeans on him and  he said,

"You need to fix my undies.  They are bunched up like a diaper."

So, I straightened the boxer briefs as best I could and re-buttoned his pants.

"They are still bunched up!"

So, I told him to change undies then.  

He said no.  

Then we left for school.

After school Saxon told me that something weird happened in school today. 

He was playing and a pair of Superman undies "disappeared" into his jeans and fell out the leg hole.

"You mean you took your undies off in school?"

"No, mom, different undies disappeared into my jeans, and now they are in my backpack!"

Apparently there had been a pair of undies stuck inside his jeans when I put them on him this morning.  (No wonder they felt bunched up).  Gradually they worked there way down until they fell out his leg hole during school.
"What did your teacher say?"

"She laughed and said 'That's ok Saxon!'"

So I held my breath as I looked in his backpack hoping that they were at least clean undies.

They were not.

A few days ago we had some beautiful weather and I took my kids to the park.

It seemed like everyone in our neighborhood was out and it was so fun to visit with all of the moms.

I sat Dalton in front of me while I chatted and the kids played.

Then Saxon came up and started saying,

"mom. mom. mom. mom. mom." etc.

I ignored him because I was talking to someone and I thought he was being rude for interrupting.

When I finally looked at him and said, "Yes Saxon?"

He said, "Dalton's eating dirt."

I looked down.

Dalton had eaten as many dirt clods from the freshly aerated lawn as he could get his little paws on and was now drooling mud.

Lovely.

Today Brittany and I went to McDonalds for lunch to let the kids play.

On the way home Bridger was begging for a drink, so I handed him my Diet Coke.

(I know, I know...)

Then Andi called so I was talking on the phone to her.

Bridger was in the back seat whining.

I ignored him.

Finally I hear him really getting worked up,

"I stuck!"

I got off the phone and asked him what the big deal was.

Well, it was 2 things:

1.  The Diet Coke was gone.

2.  Once it was gone, he had taken out the straw and stuck his finger in the hole instead, and now he was stuck.

Whenever I go out, I get a lot of attention for my 3 boys.

Mostly I get "Wow!  You really have your hands full!"

I'm starting to think that I make it look hard.

Either that or we are way more out of control than I feel like we are.

Oh well.

What can I say?

Motherhood

For Mother's Day, I wanted to post some thoughts on motherhood:

I LOVE being a mother.

I love it.

I feel like I've done a lot of really cool things in my life so far.

Things that I loved.

Things that I am proud of.

I feel like I got to really live before I settled down (one of these times I'll tell you about it).

So being someone who can compare, I can tell you, that this is better.

This is the most amazing, and fulfilling thing I have ever done.

I love being pregnant.  Having the ability to create life is something that I treasure.  I ache for people who long to and haven't been able to yet.  This is precious.

I remember the moment that we decided to start a family.

I remember each moment when we decided to expand our family.

I distinctly remember the feeling, each time, that it was time for a baby.

Before I had children, I was sure of what kind of mother I would be.

Now that I have children, my views have changed, and it takes constant effort to try to be the kind of mother that I want to be.
More often than not, I don't know what I'm doing.
I just try to stay pointed in the right direction.

Loving my children unconditionally is easy.

It's natural.

Making sure that they always know that, takes work.

It takes balance.

(Pictures by Brittany Davis photography.  August 2010.  38 weeks pregnant with Dalton)

In moments like this, I feel connected to heaven.
My precious baby.
The first time I get to look into their little faces is something indescribable.
This is the moment I became a mom.

(The moment they laid Saxon in my arms - August 2006)

I love this quote from Marjorie Hinckley:

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.

I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.

I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.

I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.

I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

(Holding Bridger at 3 days old-2008)

My life is constantly filled with joy and fear.

I love the little moments with them.

I love looking into their little faces and absorbing every detail.

They grow too fast and I don't want to miss a moment. 

Some days I can't wait for them to fall asleep, but usually I miss them once they do.

Dalton loves it when I rock him to sleep in the rocking chair.

I could hold him and rock him and stare at him forever.

(Saxon and I watching a Cubs game at Wrigley Field)

I am also constantly afraid.

What if they get hurt?

What if they are sad?

What if I mess it all up?

Am I feeding them right?

Am I teaching them enough?

Do they know how much I love them?

(Me and Saxon boating on Lake Holiday, Chicago, Illinois)

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.  They have clung to me all my life."  ~Abraham Lincoln

I pray for my children everyday.

(Me and Bridger - Refugio Beach, CA.)

 "Motherhood is more than bearing children. … It is the essence of who we are as women." - Sheri Dew

Five weeks after Saxon was born, I had to go back to work.

I cried the whole way there.

I felt like I had left my heart behind.

I don't know what I would have done without the people in my life who were willing to be a "mother" to him while I had to be away.  Brittany watched him while I worked and she loved him like her own.  That is the essence of motherhood.

"There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own."  ~Robert Brault,

Happy Mother's Day!